Rebound or Restart

How do you know if you're ready for a new relationship, after the finish of an old one.  I guess that's it isn't it? 'after the finish of the old one' but that may be different times for the two ex-es.  Even for your own part, how do you know you're not 'on the rebound'? 

I think we each have an obligation not to stuff other people around.  It's rude to give someone the impression you're looking long-term, when really you just want some short term pain-relief.  That's using using another person.  Selfish and human it may be but it's wrong becuase it just creates a cycle of more hurt.

I once read, "The best cure for a woman is another woman" Most likely true, but kind of rough on the unwitting newcomer.  If they fall in love with you, you have their heart in your hands.  There's no point saying you don't want to be responsible for another's feelings.  That's a cop out.  We have to take responsibility for out actions in this world .  So-called free spirits take heed.

So you need to be ready in yourself, at least ready enough.  You owe it to the new lover.  Trouble is, at least for me, falling in love means deeply, deeply, deeply.  How can feelings like that really ever end?  Is it OK if they don't?  Can you love again without physically cutting that part of your heart out - as I feel would be necessary.

When I fell in love the second time I found I could love again, but I never thought I would be able to given how I was feeling at the end of the first true love.  I truly thought I would die.  As you may have guessed, I've gone through that again, with the difference being the knowledge that I survived the first time.  But it was still horrible, and so we come back to the point of this post.  Should I move on now?

The feeling of being loved is just so wonderful, perhaps it's like childbirth*. Love is nature's pain relief. So we forget.  The real thing to be careful about is being emotionally dependent.

* Yes I'm a guy, invoking a comparison of the pain of childbirth.  Should we forbid childless females from talking about it as well?  I'm actually in awe of how severe the pain was, and how quickly it disappeared afterwards when mum held baby in her arms.  That's how powerful love can be.